____tear my heart open; i sew myself shut

Saturday, December 11, 2004

i am so confused! oh mans. i seriously don't know what my mind is up to. my minds in a whirl. is it real? or is it something else? i need answers! someone to talk to me about it. i just need to know more! and i need to search for my faith. i'm losing it. somehow somewhere its dissapearing. i'm not doing what i'm supposed to whole-heartedly. its just gone.

oh well. i just hope it'll come back soon. i need it. and i want it back real fast. hmm. went xmas shopping with TOOT today. she makes me happy! (: love you TOOT! don't know what i'll do without you! hees. went to look for pressies for church peeps. hahas. took us such a long time to decide! haha. met steph and vic along the way. met johanna and her parents there too! yupps. so much coincedence. yeah. went to rush TOOT cause i was afraid i was gonna be late meeting twins.

went to twins church again! yupps. we were LATE! bad us! worship was okae. i still haven't found my enthuiasm. and i can't seem to feel the holy spirit with me. ): the sermon was nice though! the FRUIT of the spirit. not fruits. galatians 5: 22. i'm gonna live by them! (: i'll have to try. felt like i kep drifting away again! ugh. whats wrong with me. i feel like i'm not interested all of a sudden. oh well. went to laura's cell group. prayed for this girl who was feeling depressed. yupps. went back earlier with nicol. hahas. she's a nice girl! (: walked with her to the bus stop. we got freaked out by a bicycle. hahas. had a nice chat with her. yupps. went home. and here i am. church tomorrow morning! (:

holy spirit rain down on me. once more.

i need you. and i want you.

{ tear my heart open }
9:52 pm